


LGBTQ Shepard Week (2017)

by droideka



Series: Big Buff Butch Shepard [5]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Fluff, LGBTQ Shepard Week, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Character of Color, Renegade Shepard (Mass Effect), just a whole lot of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-04-06 14:09:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19064254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/droideka/pseuds/droideka
Summary: I wrote the bare bones of these a few years ago, and in honor of Pride I cleaned them up and I’m publishing them here. All featuring my fav ship: Tali/Femshep and my Big Buff Butch Renegade Shepard.Day 1: Coming OutVega’s gaydar is broken.Day 2: RomanceCancelling plans turns into a date night in.Day 3: PrideTurns out you can be a vanguard in battleandin parades.Day 4: ChildhoodTalk shit, get hit.Day 5: FriendshipLate night talks in the cargo hold.Day 6: Moment of RealizationWhen you know, you know.





	1. Coming Out

The Commander was not in a good mood. Attempted coups had that effect on her.

Usually, Commander Shepard was very familiar with her crew. Perhaps more than the Alliance regs would allow. But everyone aboard knew that no matter how informal the Commander was on her rounds, on days like these it was best to keep your head down and stay out of her way.

This knowledge was not passed on to Lieutenant Vega when he joined the _Normandy_.

Vega was leaning on Cortez’s console, in the middle of retelling a less than savory story about the galaxy’s latest pop sensation that he heard from his cousin’s friend’s cousin when the elevator doors opened behind him and the sound of heavy footsteps followed after.

Cortez straightened to attention and gave a crisp salute. “Commander,” he acknowledged.

“What’s the status on the new shipment of Ariake tech?” the Commander asked, wasting no time on pleasantries.

“Commander,” Vega acknowledged as he turned toward the Commander and gave a salute as well. The scowl on Shepard’s face made him stand a little straighter. “All of the weapon mods are accounted for.”

“And the Spectre requisitions?”

“I was in the middle of doing that,” Vega explained, “until Esteban here told me he hadn’t heard about Lady Sweat’s spending habits. My cousin –”

“So you dropped a direct order to chat with Lieutenant Cortez.” Shepard’s scowl deepened.

“Well, when you put it that way—”

“You ever do any actual work, Lieutenant Vega? Or do you just run your goddamn mouth until someone reprimands you?” Shepard snapped.

Shepard’s appearance was intimidating all on its own, but in the heat of her temper she looked much more dangerous. She was approximately Vega’s height and nearly his size, and her sharp features looked severe in her anger.

But Vega had served under his fair share of hardass commanding officers, and was unfazed by Shepard’s harsh rebuke. If anything, it goaded him on.

“Sorry, Commander,” Vega smiled sheepishly. “No reprimand necessary.”

“Just get it together, Vega.” Shepard turned to leave.

“You got it, Lola.”

In the split second between his words and Shepard’s reaction, Vega could see Cortez cringe.

Shepard rounded on him, and Vega could see the rage in her dark eyes. “You cut out that ‘Lola’ shit or I’ll have your ass for insubordination, you hear me?” she said, her register threatening. “I am your C-fucking-O, not your fucking prom date.”

“But you would look so good in a prom dress, Lola,” he joked.

The joke did not land.

Shepard’s eyes narrowed. “You’re not my type, Vega.”

“You might be surprised.”

“You. Are. Not. My. Type.” Shepard repeated.

“Oh.” Cortez gave Vega a desperate sidelong look. Vega met his gaze, confused. Cortez jabbed at the wedding ring on his finger. “OH.” Realization hit Vega like a punch to the face – just like the one he was sure he was about to get from Shepard. “Oh shit Commander, I’m sorry –”

“Why?” Shepard took a step forward, still maintaining that furious glare. Vega instinctively backed into Cortez’s console. “Because hitting on me is only out of line now that you know I’m a lesbian?”

“Nah, I just – that’s just how I am, Commander,” Vega explained.

Shepard didn’t reply, she just fixed her intense stare on Vega’s face. She looked at him like she was contemplating throwing him out of the airlock during a relay jump and letting physics do the rest.

Suddenly she turned away from him, shaking her head and stalking toward the elevator. “Just get it the fuck together, Vega,” she said over her shoulder.

When the elevator doors closed behind her Vega slumped against Cortez’s console. He pressed his fingers to his temples. “I looked like an ass.”

“You were an ass,” Cortez replied.

“She hates me, Esteban.”

“Nothing escapes you, Mr. Vega.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen I really grew to like Vega but my Shepard Did Not


	2. Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cancelling plans turns into a date night in.

Tali felt miserable.

When her HUD displayed that one of her air filters had failed, Tali figured that she could get a new one on the Citadel rather than recycle an old one. She might have been able to get away with it, if not for the turian flu sweeping through the Citadel wards.

Fever, chills, a cough, and a sore throat were accompanied by a throbbing headache. Her nose was running like a faucet. She was so fatigued and sore that she felt like she’d gone three rounds with a crabby krogan and lost. It was awful.

What was worse was that it meant she had to cancel a date night with Shepard, one that they’d been planning for weeks. And it was her own fault.

Tali was wrapped in a warm blanket, lying on the couch in the living room of Shepard’s apartment. She was trying and failing to pay attention to the vid on the screen; it was something about a turian C-Sec officer and his human partner learning to trust each other and fighting crime, she couldn’t quite remember. She was about to change the channel when the door to the apartment slid open behind her. Tali sat up to peer over the sofa and saw that Shepard was home and she was carrying a full shopping bag.

“Hey,” Shepard said in greeting. “I got you that dextro tea you wanted. Or at least I think I did. I think that turian shopkeep was trying to scam me.” Shepard held up a plastic container filled with loose leaf tea. “Cipritine ginger, right?”

“That’s right,” Tali answered, her voice hoarse through her microphone.

Tali felt a pang of guilt when she saw that Shepard was still dressed for dinner, though she had unbuttoned her shirt and loosened her tie.

“I’ll boil some water and get started on dinner,” Shepard said.

“Oh, Shepard you don’t have to do that.”

“Well we gotta eat something, Tali.” Tali looked unhappy, but Shepard gave her a reassuring smile. “I don’t get to cook often, Tali. I don’t mind at all.”

Tali turned back to the vid and tried to swallow her guilt while Shepard busied herself in the kitchen. Tali could hear the clamor of pots and pans, then the whistling of the kettle. Shepard paused in her cooking to bring Tali a mug of tea.

“Shepard, really, you don’t need to do this,” Tali said as she accepted the mug from Shepard. “I have some rations I can eat.”

Shepard made a face. “Tali, I cannot in good conscience allow you to eat algae paste when you’re sick.”

Tali didn’t protest. She knew that once Shepard set her mind on something it was near impossible to change it.

As Tali sat on the couch, carefully sipping the hot tea through her induction port, she could hear the sounds of Shepard cooking. Not long after, she could smell the aroma of her dinner. Even through the air filters it smelled delicious. It was as the vid was finishing that Shepard strode into the living room with a steaming bowl in hand.

“What did you make?” Tali asked as Shepard handed her the bowl.

“It’s a time-honored healing practice of my people.” Shepard grinned. “It’s an Earth recipe for chicken noodle soup. Well, the closest thing to chicken Palaven even has.

“I made it in a pot that’s never touched levo food,” Shepard continued. “Ingredients were all filtered and previously irradiated to kill any microbes. Tried my best. But I won’t be offended if you don’t eat it.”

Tali narrowed her eyes into the closest thing she could approximate for a smile. “It smells delicious. Thank you. You really didn’t need to go through all this trouble…”

“You know I have a vested interest in making sure you can get out of that suit again,” Shepard said, laying a kiss on her forehead.

Tali giggled. “Still, I’m sorry we couldn’t make it out to dinner.”

“It’s okay. After all that clone bullshit I’m kinda sick of sushi anyway.” Shepard turned her attention to the screen. “What are we watching? I’ll even let you pick the vid,” Shepard teased.

“Well –”

“—y’know what. I don’t think I even have to ask,” Shepard said, as she used the haptic interface to pull up a stream of _Fleet and Flotilla_.

Shepard sat down beside her on the couch, putting arm around Tali’s shoulders. Tali settled deeper into her blanket and deeper into Shepard’s embrace, holding the warm soup in her hands. It wasn’t a night out, but it still felt like something special.


	3. Pride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out you can be a vanguard in battle AND in parades.

“Are you sure this is safe?”

“Done it hundreds of times, Tali.”

“That’s not really an answer, Shepard.”

Shepard grinned. “Don’t you trust me?”

Tali crossed her arms and cocked her head at an angle that Shepard knew meant she was amused. “In a fight? Yes. A hundred times over. On this thing?” Tali gestured to the motorcycle idling in front of them. “No.”

The two of them were standing in the middle of a broad avenue, directly in the light of the hot June sun. There were crowds of people lining both sides of the street, standing in the shade and fanning themselves with fliers and pamphlets. They were all watching in anticipation, and Shepard was acutely aware of their eyes on her.

Not every Pride parade had Commander Shepard at the vanguard.

“C'mon Tali, it’s tradition. It’s just a bike – you’ve ridden worse.”

“Yes, but they were all driven by you!”

Shepard laughed at that. “Tali, I promise you that there aren’t any thresher maws on this parade route.”

Tali looked unconvinced.

Shepard wiped the sweat from her brow with her muscled forearm, then pushed her short dark hair out of her eyes. “I mean, if you’re scared you can wait at the end of the route, Tali’Zorah.”

Tali’s eyes narrowed into a challenging stare. “I’m not scared, Shepard.”

Shepard made a sweeping gesture toward the bike, allowing Tali to brush past her to sit on the back end of the seat. Shepard swung a leg over and slid easily onto the bike. When she kicked out the kickstand, Tali’s hands instinctively jumped to her shoulders.

Shepard turned over her shoulder to flash an easy smile. “Just don’t let go.”

“I won’t,” she said. Tali’s arms slid around Shepard’s middle and pulled her into a close embrace. She lay her cheek against Shepard’s back, and Shepard was surprised at how cool her faceplate was against her skin. Tali’s voice was quiet through her mic, barely audible over the rising cheers of the crowd around them. “Never again.”

The hard lines of Shepard’s eyes softened as she smiled. “Never again,” she repeated.

Tali gave Shepard a squeeze. “Come on.” There was a playful edge to her voice. “Show me what you can do.”

Shepard grinned. She revved the engine, and the crowd erupted with cheers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my local Pride always starts with the Dykes on Bikes and Shep is ABsolutely a dyke on a bike


	4. Childhood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk shit, get hit.

“Are you okay?” the girl asked.

Shepard dragged the back of her hand across her face and it came away smeared with blood. She wiped it on the thigh of her ruined jeans. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Why were you fighting?”

“Me? It wasn’t me! They started this shit, they –” Shepard turned toward the girl, the interloper, and stopped abruptly.

She was the loveliest girl that Shepard had ever seen. Her skin was a deep shade of brown, with an adorable broad nose and soulful brown eyes. Her round face was framed by tight curls of black hair. For a moment, Shepard was stunned.

The girl went quiet, and Shepard thought she would just turn and leave. For the life of her, Shepard couldn’t think of a way to make her stay. But to her surprise, the girl turned and sat down beside her on the concrete. Shepard couldn’t help the way she flushed when the girl’s arm brushed hers.

They sat quietly for a moment. Then the girl said, “Your hair is pretty.”

Shepard’s hand instinctively went to the bloody patch at the side of her head. “Yeah well. Just lost a whole lot of it if you want some.”

The girl’s bright laughter made Shepard’s heart skip in her chest. The girl nudged Shepard’s side with her elbow.

“You’re funny.”

Shepard tucked a strand of black hair behind her ear, turning her eyes away from the girl’s wide smile and down toward the sidewalk. “Thanks, I guess.”

There was another moment of silence, then Shepard heard the scrape of the girl’s shoes on the concrete as she stood. Shepard kept her eyes downcast, avoiding her gaze. Suddenly, her hat appeared in her field of vision, held out in the girl’s hand.

“You dropped this.”

Shepard lifted her eyes and she saw that the girl was still smiling at her. Shepard felt like she would melt like ice in the warmth of that smile. She hesitated, then took the hat from her. “Thanks,” she said.

“You’re welcome.” The girl looked like she was about to say something else but she was interrupted by the chiming of her comm. Concern passed like a shadow across her face. When she looked back at Shepard, she was smiling again.

“Hey. I have to go home now, but I don’t wanna leave you here by yourself.” The girl actually looked sheepish. “Do you wanna walk with me?”

“I –” Shepard could swear that her heart had stopped. Only when it came back to a steady rhythm could she manage, “– yeah, I do.”


	5. Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night talks in the cargo hold.

It was several hours into the night watch when Shepard stepped out of the elevator and into the empty cargo bay – when and where she expected nobody would find her. She already had a cigarette between her lips and was in the process of lighting it when she looked up and saw that she wasn’t alone.

Lieutenant Cortez was standing at his station, hunched over the console. From across the room, Shepard could hear the sound of two men speaking. One voice was pleading with the other, its pleas tinny on the recording. Shepard didn’t need to hear the words to know what was said. She was about to speak, but Cortez spoke first.

“You really shouldn’t smoke in here.” Cortez didn’t even turn to look at her. “Best case scenario you gum up the air filters. Worst case scenario we all die in an oxygen fire.”

“And just this once I thought I’d get away with it,” she said as she crossed the room to lean against the console beside him.

There was a moment of heavy silence, only broken by the low thrum of the _Normandy’s_ engines. Shepard sighed out a plume of smoke.

“Cortez…”

“I know. I know, Commander. I know that I should let go –”

“You don’t gotta let go of anything you aren’t ready to let go.”

Cortez was staring straight ahead, avoiding Shepard’s gaze. Shepard could tell it was to keep from crying. “He said not to make him an anchor,” Cortez said, his voice cracking. “He thought the memory of him would be dead weight, make me sink.”

“Sometimes you need an anchor. Something to come back to. Something to keep you from drifting.”

Another silence.

“Is that what she is for you, Commander? An anchor?”

Shepard took a long drag from her cigarette. “She’s all I’ve got left, Cortez. And I’m gonna fight like hell to keep her. So yeah. I guess she is.”

Shepard gave Cortez a sideways glance. “And that anchor? It’s keeping you in place now, and maybe that’s what you need. Give it some time, and eventually you’ll be strong enough to carry it with you.”

Cortez gave Shepard a thin smile. “I think you’re losing the metaphor, Commander.”

“They don’t pay me to make speeches, Lieutenant.”

“Who could forget the last one. I think the Alliance is still paying out the ANN for that f-bomb.”

Shepard dropped her cigarette and ground it out under her heel, ignoring the look of protest on Cortez’s face. “You gonna be alright?”

“I will be.”

“Good. Now go get some sleep. If you fall asleep at the wheel and kill us all – I’ll fucking kill you.”

“I already told you Commander. When I’m flying, I’m with you 100%.”

Shepard hesitated, then reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. “I know. And know that I’m with you too – 100%.”


	6. Moment of Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you know, you know

“C’mon, there has to be _someone,”_ the girl said.

“I dunno what to tell you, there really isn’t,” Shepard replied.

Shepard was walking home from her high school with another girl in her class. She had her hands tucked into her jean pockets and she kept her eyes downcast, watching the cracks in the sidewalk pass beneath her sneakers.

“I know it’s slim pickings, but you have to have a crush on a boy. Everyone does,” the girl said.

Everyone didn’t, as it turned out. Shepard wasn’t lying. Unlike most of the girls in her class, including the girl she was walking with, there were no boys she was interested in. She told herself it was because none of them were kind enough, funny enough, or handsome enough to pique her interest. But it had been that way since she was little. Ever since the girls she knew were old enough to get boyfriends – first pretend, then for real – she was always alone.

The girl leaned down to poke her head into Shepard’s field of view. Embarrassed, Shepard averted her eyes.

“I think you’re lying to me,” the girl said.

“It’s the truth.”

“There is someone, and you’re just not telling me!”

“I swear to God there isn’t.”

The girl gave a huff and straightened again, turning her eyes forward to the path ahead.

Shepard wasn’t lying… at least about being interested in a boy.

Shepard stole a glance at the girl walking beside her. She had long dark hair that she wore loose around her shoulders. Her skin was a rich shade of brown, perfected by the makeup she wore. She had elegant features, with an arched nose and dark shapely brows. Her expressive eyes were a dark brown, and they always seemed to be filled with laughter. The clothes and makeup she wore were always impeccable and stylish, lots of short skirts and lipstick. She was the walking antithesis of Shepard.

And Shepard was desperately in love with her.

“If you don’t tell me who it is I’ll have to make someone up,” the girl said.

“Please don’t.”

“Then tell me!”

Shepard sighed. She racked her brain for the least offensive boy in their class.

“Daniel?” she said, her voice rising in a question.

 _“Daniel?”_ the girl replied, surprised.

“Is that… bad?”

“Not bad, I guess. Just unexpected. I didn’t think he was your type.”

“What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I don’t know,” the girl shrugged. “I guess I just expected someone… taller.”

“He has a nice personality?” Shepard offered.

The girl shook her head. “You’re still lying. I can tell. It’s written all over your face.”

It was the truth. There wasn’t a boy. There was never a boy. Maybe there would never be a boy.

Shepard stopped in her tracks at the thought. _Maybe there would never be a boy,_ she repeated in her mind. _Maybe it will always be girls, and never a boy. Maybe I’m –_ the word felt odd, even in her thoughts – _a lesbian?_

The word felt strange, unfamiliar. But at the same time Shepard had a feeling, an intuition, that it was right. This was her. This was her truth. Eventually the word would come easily to her, as natural as her name. The thought of that made her smile. It felt like she found something she’d always been missing. It felt like coming home.

“Hey,” the girl had stopped a few steps ahead and was looking back at her. “You daydreaming over there?” she grinned. “I know you’re keeping something back. And one of these days you’re going to tell me.”

“Yeah,” Shepard said, emboldened by her realization. “Maybe I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little did she know she would grow up to be a lesbian fuckboy. featuring a cameo of her wife in another life.
> 
> happy Pride, thanks for reading!


End file.
